Make Up

Lover never really verbally apologized after her angry outburst but did let me orally serve her on a couple of nights. I was allowed in her on these occasions, but not allowed to cum. Lover said that this gift was to make up for the previous week. After a few days of this she slid back about half of the stones. She had slid over a large hand full of stones when she was pissed off at me the prior week.

At denial day seven, Lover clipped me up with cloth pins and beat my nipples and thighs while stroking me to the edge a few times. I was again requested to service her and after a couple of orgasms she beat me with the Lexan paddle until my ass was cut and bleeding.

We both fell asleep on day eight. I was very horny, eight days is the longest I have been denied to date, but there was still a bit of a testy edge to our encounters and I was told that I would be allowed an orgasm until my attitude fully changed. Usually I am quite subservient at this point, but this time I was a bit more subdued, hurt and careful.

Day nine. I was really dying for an orgasm and lover was in a testy, but teasing mood. She wasn’t interested in any efforts from me and told me to lay back. She had me put on my cock strap and proceeded to beat my thighs hard while working me up. After I was quite excited, she announced that she was going to “open me up again.” I got down the Lexan paddle and she proceeded to really lay into my already sore ass. Lover was quite pleased with the yelps and jumps that she was able to wrestle out of me. It was very hard and exhausting. I could tell that I was still paying for her sour mood.

After I was cut, bleeding and numb - lover had me go clean up and get a dark towel to lie on. As I was cleaning up I could hear her buckling up the straps on her cock harness. I came in to the lovely sight of her standing there wearing a large strap on. She proceeded to lay me on my back and pounded me hard while stroking me until I had an explosive orgasm.

Since this was an orgasm outside of her, I was expected to take 40 strokes of the cane afterwards. My nipples were burning from the cloth pins and lover refused to take them off until I took my punishment. I presented her with the cane and then took my position. Usually she will back off a bit on the post orgasm strokes, but this time she really swung the thing. By the end of it, my cuts were flowing again and the cane was soaked with my blood.

There has been a dramatic change in our relationship of late. Lover no longer questions her own authority, and if I know what is good for me I won’t either. Drawing blood used to freak her out - the first site of a cut would pretty much put a stop to the scene. Now days she sees cutting me as a challenge and is more worried about it making a mess than how I might be squirming around. In the last month she has intentionally cut me every time that she has used the heavy paddle. Lover is pleased with the effects of limiting my orgasms. Mainly my better attitude and our increased focus on her needs and desires. Ass worship and lapping up after her pee appears to have given her dominant side a real boost. I expect that this will soon progress to catching her full output of piss.

The next morning Lover moved seven stones back over to the negative side.

In Big Trouble

Lover has been in a weird mood and I don’t know what is up. For the most part things seem to be going well on all fronts – kids, jobs and our relationship. She generally agrees with my upbeat assessment of our current situation but is feeling hormonal waves and is not really able to get on top of her moods. I guess that it could be the start of menopause. I have been trying to really sooth the way for her and also keeping me and kid out of her way when she is in a crappy mood, but this morning was too much for me.

Last night we had a wonderful evening with an old friend that is back for a few days visiting from Europe. I cooked a multi-course Chinese feast and we had a great time reminiscing. Our friend left at about 10:00 and chances looked good that my wife and I would continue our fun evening in private.

After we prepared for bed, lover came in the room, got naked and turned on table lamp – always a good sign. She laid on her stomach and told me that her shoulder was sore and that I should lay on her and give her a back rub. This was all very sweet and after a bit of massaging I asked her if she would like me to go down on her. She enthusiastically said yes and before too much of that, she asked me to climb on top and enter her. I still had three rocks to go, so I knew that my relief was out of the question. I did my best to focus on her pleasure and hold my own at bay. Before the evening was over she enjoyed a number of orgasms on my mouth and penis, stopping me whenever I got close. As is often the case, she gets very wired after cumming - I was very horny but tired so I was quite happy to go to sleep. We kissed goodnight and she got up to work on the computer. I don’t have any idea how late she stayed up as I was out cold by the time she came to bed.

Fast forward to this morning.

Lover must have been tired because she woke up in a shitty mood. Kid was tired and uncooperative too and things soon escalated into a tense test of wills between the two of them. I tried to help by intervening in a calmer and more productive way. Mainly by trying to get her out of the way and helping the kid wake up and get dressed - as it was I was too late. She verbally snapped at the kid and then everyone was upset. I started to joke around with the kid to cheer him up and get him moving, and then she turned on me. “Do you want to get in trouble along with him?” Then she stormed over to our bowel of rocks and slammed a dozen over to the other side. All was tense until we parted for the day. I kissed her good bye and wished her a better rest of the day.

I don’t know if she will reconsider her temper and attitude this morning and move some of the rocks back or not. If she holds out, it will amount to 16 days without release – this would be double our current record. I am kind of pissed off now and am not sure how I should behave as a submissive. Should a submissive have a say in such matters? Should lover’s punishment be final, even when I think she is being unfair? Is it acceptable for me to ask her to reconsider? I am guessing that she will make some sort of effort to make things up, but I did break a cardinal rule. I questioned her handling of a situation with our child in front of the child. We generally try to provide a united front and discuss these matters in private after the fact. I still think that she was out of hand with the kid and a calmer approach would have been more productive. I am a bit confused.

Hard spanking - Last weekend

It had been a while - with a house guest, then so business travel and all. She had only been able to sneak in a few quick pops with the cane. We finally a got a night alone, the kid was at a sleep over. I still had three rocks in the bowel so it was un-likely that she would let me have an orgasm just yet. Lover was excited and ready for play. She gave me lots of stroking and hard slaps to my inner thighs. I was very hard so she climbed on for a ride: warning me all along that I would pay dearly if I came. Before long she had her first orgasm; I barely held out but was determined to not let go. After her first orgasm she laid back and let me go to work on her with my mouth - after a bit of this she climaxed hard against my tongue
and fingers in both of her openings.

I was then told me to present her with a hard cock. I climbed on and tried to hold back, luckily she let me in deep and let me kiss her and play with her nipples. This slow rub sent her over one more time; she was very tender at this point and told me to lay back. She always has lots of energy after a bunch of orgasms and usually will go rough on me if I am to be spanked. Lover brought me to the edge with her hands while whipping my nipples, cock and thighs. I was then instructed to get out the heavy strop and the holy Lexan paddle. She gave me 20 hard strokes with the strop, and then grabbed the paddle. I stared counting as she began swinging, but she told me not to bother as she was going to beat me until she broke the skin. The paddle is very hard and the drilled holes can cut fairly easily. Lucky for me she stopped and stroked my penis a few times to keep me excited. Her fore arm stroke broke the skin way before the other side. I was really high from the endorphins and my eyes were glassy. Finally she got a little bit of blood out of my left side. She then told me to clean up, get a dark towel and lay back. After another two edging and cane strokes to my thighs, she let me go to sleep.

We awoke the next morning, still no kid in the house. Lover was tender but let me in her gently for a while. When she tired of that she told me she was going to open me up again with the loud toys- since we still had privacy. She got out the Lexan paddle and really went at my upper thighs and butt. I was quite sore from the previous night and not nearly as excited. This hurt like hell and I yelped, but managed to mostly keep position. Again the right side opened up sooner then the left. As it turns out she had let me off the night before on the left side. Only a tiny bit had opened up. Today she pounded away twenty or more times on the left to really open me up. I was told to clean up and put on dark underwear. Later that day I was told to cut some switches - one heavy and one light. She is going to tie me to the horse and use a strap on and switches on me later on. She say she really wants to fuck me hard and that I will not be allowed to cum for at least another day.

Old Faithful

My lover likes to have good vanilla sex. She wants a nice long sweet ride from me until she has a strong orgasm(s). Candace over at Wife Rules Roost would like the same, but she also wants her husband to endure long periods of orgasm denial. As a result, whenever he has the opportunity to have penetrative sex, he ejaculates way before she is able to derive her own pleasure. I expect that this is quite common in relationships that practice male orgasm denial- or for that matter, lots of vanilla relationships as well.

Does orgasm denial and gratifying fucking have to be mutually exclusive? Not in my experience. Training the male to delay his orgasm in order to properly service his lover takes time. Standard training for premature ejaculation involves edging and hard squeezing at pressure points at the base of his cock. No doubt there are dozens of articles about this technique on the internet.

We have been working at delaying my orgasm for a long time now. Intentional orgasm denial is relatively new to our relationship, but prior training and techniques have adapted quite well to the highly aroused state that I am frequently kept at now.

I am sincere in my efforts to be a true submissive to my wife. I am consciously trying to put my lover’s pleasure before my own. One aspect of our FML is that I am expected to follow lover’s orders. If I am told not to cum, I will do whatever possible to avoid doing so. I know that if I have any un-authorized orgasm I will be caned 40 hard strokes and go without another orgasm for a long time. If I am unable to follow her instructions it is a failure on my part and I am left mentally unsatisfied. If I am required to orally clean up the mess or pull out immediately when my contractions start, it will add to my humiliation of failing to properly serve my lover.


For the past four days lover has been riding me hard and edging me with her hand. She has pushed me real close a couple of times and says that I will be beaten hard and go for two weeks without another orgasm if I don’t hold back.
One of the best ways for me to prolong my orgasm is to focus on something other than how good it is feeling. Really paying attention to lover’s reaction and how I can give her more pleasure can help me to shift my focus away from my own pending release. Sometimes a hard rub that really gets lover going can be a little un-pleasant for me. I try and focus on whatever action is a bit uncomfortable for me (like pressing on my bladder) but is working well for lover’s excitement. I will put extra pressure on this point and watch for lover’s response. Another method is to go deep and sweet, a deep hard slow rub without fast in and out thrusts will give her clitoral stimulation but not necessarily get me over the top.

I fully understand the benefits of orgasm denial, but I am not sure that it has to be an endurance contest for it to work effectively in a relationship. We have pushed it to nine days, but lover wants traditional loving intercourse, with us cuming together, more often than that. I think that it is worth assessing what it is that you looking for in having the man in extended denial. For us, the benefits of denial are my increased attention and submission. Lover is working to make sure that I am attentive, romantic and submissive no matter what my orgasm schedule is. The point is that she is in charge of all of my orgasms and I am expected to behave - period. We no longer have any arguments about sexual frequency and we only have sex when she is interested. This might be two days in a row or once every nine days.

It is hers to say

I believe that a key component to having a successful FLR, is the strict control of the male’s orgasm. I guess that I am a normal male in that I would pretty much enjoy having sex of some sort most everyday. Prior to my wife and I entering into a FLR agreement, the only real recurring gripes that we had in our marriage were related to my excessive interest in cumming and my tendency towards being a slob.

After ten years of marriage, lover was getting bored with our normal routine and was feeling that I was not putting enough effort into romancing her. I somewhat expected sex to be a natural right of marriage and lover felt that I was taking her for granted. I would usually respond to her complaints with increased attempts at wooing her. I would give her baths, massages, chocolates, flowers and increased oral attentions to name a few thing. Our sex life would heat up for a while and we both would be satisfied, but before long we would drift back into our vanilla routine.

Although I have always understood that no means no, after a few nights of her falling asleep, or flat out telling me she wasn’t interested. My feelings would be hurt and I would pull back and get quiet. Finding titillation on the internet was easy and there was no lack of the type of stories that turn me on. S&M stories of strict wives working over their obedient hapless males. These images fueled many nights of masturbation and the more that I beat off; the less I was interested in putting forth the effort necessary to re-attract my wife.

Eventually as my mood dropped, lover would relent with a nominal servicing. Usually this would leave her a bit pissed off - I would be physically satisfied but feel emotionally shallow. Of course it wasn’t always like this, but this is basically a generalized tale of the normal cycles that we went through together as a married couple.

During this time I was finding more and more female dominant material on the internet. Sites like Elise Sutton’s, Akasha’s web and DWC, clarified ideas and feelings that I had been having for a long time. I introduced my wife to some of this information and she eventually agreed to attempt some of the methods mentioned on these sites.

After a number of starts and stops we came up with a number of things that were really started working for us. Lover was really beginning to understand how these techniques could give her more satisfaction and me what I was asking for. Orgasm denial proved to be pivotal in providing the motivation that I needed to really put my wife’s sexual needs before my own. The Uniquely Rita site, http://www.msrika.com/joy.htm clarifies it better than I can.

Now lover has taken to being completely in control of when and how I am allowed an orgasm. My orgasms only happen when she feels like it, and I pretty much have to earn every one by being kind and attentive to her needs. By having her in control, there is no reason to get upset about the frequency of my release; it is not up to me. I am not allowed to masturbate to orgasm, but I am required to keep myself up and excited if she is sleeping or not in the mood. In this way it is like there is always sexual energy in the house, even if I am getting fewer orgasms than before.

As a result of allof this I have become very conscious of leaving my things lying around the house and have doubled up on my part of the chores - such as doing laundry and cleaning the bathroom. All in all, the minor scuffles between us have been greatly minimized and we are more in love than we have been for years. When we have sex I feel like it is a great gift of love. It is often as exciting and rewarding as the first few weeks of our relationship. How many older married couples with young children can say that? When I do cum it is explosive and well worth the wait.

Clean Up

Lover was in a good mood the other night. She told me that she would probably want some attention later that evening. Though not really apologizing for her mood and temper of the past days, she was very sweet to me and helped out while I made dinner. After dinner, lover took the kid up to prepare for bed while I cleaned the kitchen and ran an errand that she had asked me to do for her. While putting the kid down, lover fell asleep. This is common in our house and unless she has specifically told me to wake her up, I am to let her sleep.

After a bit of blog reading I went to bed. I put on my cock strap and cloths pins on my nipples and then stroked away for ten minutes. These are normal instructions on nights that lover falls asleep. I was tired and very horny, but I fell asleep quickly after putting away my toys. It was going to be just another night sleeping alone, with the thought that I would go to day nine without a release.

Sometime around midnight, lover came in and woke me up by squeezing my nipples hard. My nipples are always sensitive, especially after nightly clip time, and they pretty much are a direct switch to my penis. Once I was fully awake she instructed me to make her wet, then climb on top of her. I was very hard and excited from the week of denial and she was quite pleased with that. I managed to give her one sweet ripple orgasm and kept going until I was near a point of no return. She had not said whether I would be allowed to cum, so I slowed down and informed her that I would be unable to continue without cummig. She told to me keep going but wait until she was ready and cum with her. We exploded exactly at the same time and I was able to stay hard long enough to give her another small ripple orgasm. She was really worked up.

We held each other warmly with me still inside her, until she said “are you ready”. “Am I ready”? She didn’t feel like getting up and wanted me to go down on her and clean up all my mess. I had been fantasying about this for a long time and mentioned it to her many times before, but it was a bit of a surprise because she had always said she thought it was gross.

Lover has no interest at all in pleasuring me with her mouth, and certainly not to the point of my cumming. This is one activity that has come to an end since we started up our female led relationship. Lover has made me taste my sperm many times before and I have gone down on her for clean up after much of my load had already been expelled. Now she was expecting me to clean up every bit of eight days worth of pent up release. I asked her if she was sure a couple of times, and she ordered me down to “clean it all up, Now”. Once again, the excitement of my fantasies are a bit diminished after I have been allowed a release. I reluctantly complied and she contracted hard to make sure that I got everything. Though she had mentioned before that she thought this was a bit gross, my efforts excited her intensely. She held me down and I continued licking up the soft and creamy fluid until she had another violent orgasm. What fun, her intense pleasure very much offset the slight distaste of my own fluids. I was delighted that she had followed through on this and had enjoyed herself so thoroughly.

The next morning during breakfast she told me how much she had enjoyed herself and how she now understood why women request this activity. She then told me that I would be cleaning her up on a regular basis.

Denial without the tease

Lover has decided to force my further submission by extending the period of my orgasm denial; limit her amount of sexual teasing and restrict access to her body. For the past week I have been allowed some cuddling before she turns her back to me and tells me to go to sleep. She stroked and teased me a little the other night and then moved the “O” stone to the good side to keep me guessing and motivated. The last of six rocks has remained in place for the past two days and I am told she will move it over and allow me an orgasm only when she feels like it. Lover says that the stones are only one indicator of my current status – they are more a tool for my correction and motivation than as a requirement for her to do anything for me in return. She is the “Final answer” of when I am to be allowed a release. I continue to be required to wear cloth pins on my nipples for at least five minutes each night... I have been given permission to touch myself only while the clips are on. Monday night she yelled up the stairs to me, “15 minutes, good night”, then she went in to sleep with our son. Masturbating to orgasm is out of the question. I am very pent up at the moment and find it harder to take this in good spirit without the physical contact and sexual teasing.

We currently have a house guest and lover has been busy. She is in a bad mood and has had little or no interest in sex. Early this morning she got up to pee and asked me, “Aren’t you going to follow me”. I jumped out of bed and did my expected clean up; she let me linger there for maybe thirty seconds and then went back to bed. I was very excited by this and she clamped my penis hard between her legs. She would allow nothing more. She told me that the six day mark is generally the beginning of a dangerous time for me – my mood tends to be fragile from this point on (we are currently at 7 days). I was warned to control my mood and watch my behavior. As far as I can remember she has only pushed me to eight days once before.

I have to admit that a big part of my submission and interest in female domination is mental and in large part driven by fantasy. Lover has played along with me on this for years; but recently she has become quite comfortable engaging in a real Female Led Relationship. Lover has come to appreciate and expect the benefits of being in charge. I have been told that from now on she is going to require actual submission from me. I will be attentive to her needs without any expectation of sexual reciprocation. This is no longer going to be sexual fantasy play - now we are playing on her terms. I was again reminded that this was initially my idea and asked if I would like to stop everything. I am both excited and physically frustrated, but it is what I asked her for. It will be interesting to see how far she pushes me and what my reaction to it will actually be. It is looking like I might find that out before too long.

Lover is currently in a crappy mood. Our FLR provides me with the tools to deal with this in a positive and helpful manner. I must double my efforts to please her and try to smooth out the stresses in her life. I trust that she will dole out whatever she feels is the appropriate amount of sexual pleasure to meet my basic needs. She certainly knows where my buttons are and has the power and ability to provide me with intense joy. For now lover is in the mood to drive home the point of what having her truly in charge of our relationship means. In the next few days I will tread as lightly as I can and hope that I can keep my mood up as I become more sexually frustrated. I am going out of town this weekend and if she chooses to keep me from cumming before I leave, it will be about 13 days of denial before I return. This is a very long time for me.

Blast Off

I earned one stone extra last week for a flip remark about lover’s mother. I nearly received another in my clumsy attempt to recover. She laughed at me and said, “Keep it up if I would like a handful of stones moved”. I immediately shut up of course. Before our FLR, I probably would have continued shoving by foot further in my mouth and the little affair would have escalated into a fight.

During the week, stresses with daughter and ex- wife grew out of control and all of this on top of the arrival of lover’s exceptionally heavy period. Conditions were dangerous and I doubled my efforts to be sweet and helpful around the house. Lover was served a number of nice dinners and really didn’t have to lift much around the house for the week.

Stress was weighing hard on me but my service to lover helped much to keep me on task. My stones were all moved to the good side after six days, but the O-stone stayed in place. Finally on day seven I noticed that the Orgasm stone had moved. I had really helped her out and kept my sub demeanor intact through some very trying times. Lover informed me that I would be getting the “missile” that evening.

The Missile is a large heavy pool toy that I found at the Thrift Store. It is over two inches wide and quite long. It takes every bit of concentration and relaxation that I can muster to take it all the way up to the fins. Lover is very slow and careful inserting it into me, though she watches to make sure that I am being pushed a bit. It is amazing how she can read me, we have been enjoying anal play for many years now, but this thing really is my limit. She also allows me to communicate with her to make sure she isn’t really hurting me.

During rests in the pushing, she beat my thighs and nipples and stroked me to the edge a few times. She finally was able to get it all of the way in. It probably took twenty to thirty minutes in all. After she achieved her goal, she stroked me hard and fast while fucking me with the missile. It didn’t take much of this before I was going to explode. I asked her permission to cum and she nodded yes and sped up her tempo. Squeezing against this massive toy and the build up of seven days caused me one of the most violent Orgasms in memory. I screamed and she kept at it until I was fully drained. Lover is so wonderful to me.

Since this was an external orgasm (outside of her) I was to clean up and immediately and present myself for a 40 stroke caning. Lover gave me no mercy; she asked if I had ever treated my mother as badly as my daughter was treating us. I admitted that I had, she pull back the cane and said this is for your mother. She had me singing and dancing before she was through. I was left with my butt sore, widely stretched and cane stripes to remind me of my conduct for the week to come.